


Aging

by Starmanwithoutstars



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, Old Age, Sanders Sides - Freeform, death mention, hurt/little comfort, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starmanwithoutstars/pseuds/Starmanwithoutstars
Summary: Based off the prompt, "Truth is, most of us don't exist anymore."
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Aging

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was a part of a challenge my friend and I are attempting. I'm quite proud of this, actually, because it feels like an original idea? I took a lot of time thinking about it and even though it's sad, I hope people enjoy it!

Nothing. That’s all Virgil saw when he looked around the living room. There may have been stairs, pictures, and furniture, but looking closer he saw nothing. That seemed to be all he saw these days.

He lifted his thin finger and touched the dark, shadowy eyeliner that decorated his eyes. He let it linger there for a moment, trying to muster the energy to take it away. He couldn’t tell if he stayed like that for a couple seconds, or hours. When he eventually brought his finger into view, the dark make-up covered his finger tip. He sighed.  
Thinking was all Virgil did, ever since he manifested. Thinking of every scenario, every mishap, every event that could possibly happen at any moment. Now, he could feel himself fleeting. Soon, he would be nothing, too.

A sudden shadow rose into his peripheral, and before he could even say, “No,” Patton was already walking over towards him.

Despite his white hair and wrinkled features, Patton had the same goofy smile he did when they were young. It brought both a comfort and pain to Virgil.

“Hey, kiddo! Heard you were feeling a lil blue and wanted to see what the haps was!” His voice was hoarse from years of laughing and singing.

“I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Is it because of Roman?”

Virgil didn’t have the courage to speak. Patton smiled, but the sadness wasn’t hard to spot.

“Look, I know losing people is difficult, but not talking about it is going to make it more painful and-”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Pat. They’re gone!” The sudden outburst made Virgil cough, causing the side to double over and clutch his chest. Patton, though struggling, kneeled down and placed a reassuring hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“They’re not… gone. They just… Went to someplace different that we don’t know about yet? It’ll be alright, though!”

Virgil lifted his head, his face naturally pulled down from exhaustion. “Even Remus disappeared. I’d never thought I’d say this, but his lack of outbursts makes me more nervous than when they were around.”

“You just gotta have faith, sport. Everything will be ok-”

“Stop lying to yourself, Patton! Thomas is dying, he can barely remember what he was watching on T.V. a half hour ago, no one is properly taking care of him, and truth is, most of us don’t exist anymore! Nothing will be okay!” Virgil hadn’t noticed the tears slowly sliding down his face, or his erratic breathing, or his hands gripping Patton’s shoulders. He did notice Patton’s fear, however. His eyes too wide for his aged face, and mouth tight. Virgil’s lip trembled with anger and sadness, no words filling the void between the two.

It started with Deceit. Thomas had collapsed while walking around his neighborhood, and when they got back from the hospital, Deceit never showed up again.

Next was Logan, who had spent nights trying to make sense of what was happening. That’s what he lead the others to believe, anyway. He was actually driving himself ragged trying to find a way to cope with his departure. One day he went into his room, and never came out.

Most recently was Roman and Remus. They couldn’t tell if one had gone first, or if they disappeared at the same time. Roman had calmed Virgil from a near panic attack, holding the anxious side in his arms as he slowly drifted asleep. The last thing he heard from Roman’s voice was Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins. Despite the cracks in the voice, Roman’s singing was just as smooth and warm as it always had been. When Virgil woke up, he was gone.

“I’m sorry… I just… I-I just wish I knew what to do…” Virgil shrank down onto the steps, face now dry. He refused to let any other tears fall. Patton relaxed, and followed Virgil’s actions. The father figure plopped right next to Virgil, leaning his head on the shoulder of his purple jacket.

“I’m not sure if there's anything you can do, bud. This is… This is inevitable. When people get older and older, they begin to fade.”

“Roman promised me he wouldn’t leave. I told him I was too scared. If I disappeared, who would look after Thomas? Tell him to take his meds? To call the doctor when his chest hurt? And Roman said that if I left, if I disappeared, he would take care of Thomas- to the very end.”

“Every time someone leaves, I feel a piece of me leave with them. Maybe it’s because I love everyone a little too much, Logan always believed so. When he left, well… It’s been even harder without him. I guess I’m trying to say, you’re not alone, Virgil.”

“I’m going to be… Or you will. Either way, this will end badly.”

Silence.

Silence was, in this moment, extremely deafening.

Silence was suffocating Virgil.

He wasn’t going to stop the silence, however.

Silence.

It continued.

Absolute, soul-crushing silence.

Then, Patton grabbed Virgil’s hand.

“I think we did a pretty good job.”

Virgil’s head snapped to his right. Patton was smiling again, the same smile he had always worn. The smile that brought laughter and kindness and comfort. He was smiling, even though Virgil knew he was sad. He kept smiling.

“Thomas is… Yeah, but look at the life he’s had! So many people he’s helped, so much beauty he’s brought into the world. He wouldn’t have done that without us. Maybe… Maybe it’s time we all took a break.”

Virgil couldn’t help it. He felt angry- furious, even. He had spent too long, fought too hard to just ‘take a break’. His eyebrows arched, his scowl painted on his face. Every part of him tensed. “The job isn’t done. Ever. Thomas needs us. We have to protect him, support him, help him! We can’t just give up because we’re sad and tired! What kind of protector would that make me!” He paused again. “I mean… What kind of protectors would that make us. I meant… I meant… I don’t know what I meant.”

He felt the warmth of a hand embrace his cold, pale cheek. He turned his face to meet Patton’s, the smile unfaltered. “Maybe it’s time for you to take a break, kiddo.”

Virgil released the air he had been holding in his lungs. The weight had been lifted. No one had said aloud the dark thoughts he kept within him. And after hearing someone else say it, it doesn’t sound too bad.

It was his turn to lean his head on Patton’s shoulder. “Tell me a joke, Patton.” He heard a chuckle.

“Okay, okay. Let me think.” The silence returned, but this time it felt more like a blanket than a destructive force. “Oh! What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!” Virgil huffed. “Wait, I might have a better one… What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one…”

Patton’s voice eventually faded into the silence, and with one last smirk, Virgil let go and let himself become nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I really just want to comment on how much thought I specifically put into how each side disappeared. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm just pretty proud of that part :)


End file.
